9 weeks, and weeeeird rants.

I went to a prenatal class the other day at Kaiser, and learned more about Bean. It was informative, but it was a really long day. I had my first random bout of crying when the nurse, who was supposed to give me a flu shot (which I don't even want), just spaced out and didn't notice my check-in for 45 minutes. Watching women come and go was frustrating, but not that upsetting. For some reason though, when I decided I had waiting enough and I grabbed my paper from the check in box, I started to cry! Haha. I was so upset and I don't even know why. Weird pregnant chick, I tell ya.

I had a dream last night that a woman was giving birth in an alley, and she planned on dumping it in the dumpster. I had come across her and helped her out, and when she was done birthing the beautiful baby girl she said she was going to ditch it. I asked if I could keep the baby, and she said yes. I was still pregnant in my dream, so I had to prepare for two babies. It was very weird.

I can't believe today is the nine week marker. Bean is a FETUS! Finally not an embryo :) Bean measured small, so Kaiser actually put the week-changing day as Saturday. However, my last period and ovulation all coincide with Wednesday, so I am going to just keep my calenders on Wednesday, unless my due date changes.

I am SO stressed with school. I have a hard midterm Monday, and a ten-page paper due Tuesday, the same day I have to do a presentation in my education class. GREAT. Halloween weekend is going to be hermit-time. I wish my stuff was spread out, and I am freaking out that I might let something slide. Ugh. School this quarter sucks, but I'm taking more classes next quarter. Boo.

Random side note:
One thing I pride myself in is being true; I'm true to others, and most importantly, to myself. I am the same girl when I am mad, sad, happy, and horny. I don't turn into someone different depending on my company. I am who I am. I am true. Thankfully my husband is true too. He is always dependable, smart, generous, and loving.
I really hope the baby will be like this too. I think it's more of a nurture thing, than a nature thing, which makes me sad when I think of how many people there are who have good parents, but are fake as hell. I can look in the mirror each day, and never fear looking into my own eyes. What do I have to hide? I have pride in my daily life, in my heartfelt nature, and my hard work. I just wish I could read people better. Do some people act like they have hearts of gold, when they really will drop their smiles the moment you turn away and say something mean behind your back? It scares me to bring a baby into this world with so much negativity; even hidden negativity. When my friends got pregnant and married, I was so happy for them; I went to parties, commented on a million pictures, and spread the love. Only my two closest friends even commented on my wedding pictures. The most comments came from friends of friends, or family, or old friends that facebook reconnected me with. It's weird that I consider people as my close friends, when I don't know if they even truly like me. Maybe it's just hormones speaking, but sometimes I'm scared some of my friends like me out of convenience. Hope not!

Ok, that was a weird tangent. I need more sleep. That being said, I'm off to school!