Thinking out loud.

I was just thinking about how stressed I've been. I've been crying a lot, and have been in some stupid arguments lately, and I really hope the baby is ok. Can she feel my sadness? Can she feel when I'm happy, stressed, or anxious? For her sake, I hope not. I hope she's just floating in a cozy bed, blowing bubbles, and growing strong. Then again, I can be quite naive.

I am so happy I can bring her into this world. We all grow up in families, but this one is special because I'm making it all on my own. Michael and I are building this family just for us, and I hope my little girl always feels loved, special, and valued in our family. When I think of the baby, I feel happiness, love, and awe...I don't want any of her things (her room, her clothes, her toys) being associated with bad things like crying or yelling. When I do things just for Michelle, I want to be in a good state of mind with love in my heart. I don't want to buy something while I'm grouchy, or decorate her special room with any sadness in my heart. This is her domain, her special place to dream, and play, and be an innocent child. I don't want any bad energy hanging around.

You know, people who fight a lot will always fight a lot. If a person, or group of people, are always sad, stressed, and angry, they will always be that way. There is no changing anyone but yourself. I don't want my kid being around anyone when they are acting that way. I can't control what they do and when they do it, so I need to think long and hard about who I want coming around this bundle of joy. People become mean; they aren't born mean. I don't want any negative influences on Michelle; I want her to stay innocent and happy. But I guess all parents want that for their children.

It's a GIRL!

Ah! Today we had our 3d/4d ultrasound, and got to see our beautiful little baby dance around. The tech said she was 98% sure the baby is a girl, since she had the "hamburger". Lol. I won't explain since it's a pretty gross metaphor.

We've decided on Michelle Elizabeth Bergman. Misha for short. :) It was so fun to watch, especially with our families right by our side. It was only me and Rachael who thought the baby would be a girl; everyone else was screaming boy! Ha! Don't they know we don't make boys in the Jarvi house? The tech said people that have a lot of sex have girls...I don't know if it's true, but it definitely applies ;-)

While having my ultrasound, the tech, Karen, said she could tell I had to pee (that nothing is secret in ultrasound offices..haha!) and then she said I was having a contraction! We saw it lower down to the baby, and after a bit it went away. She told me I will most likely have Braxton Hicks later on if they are happening now..let's hope not! A picture is below, and a link to a video of the dancing queen is here: Baby Michelle Dancing

It is definitely a week to be a girl! Mackenzie Marie was born on the sixth, and she is probably the cutest newborn I've ever seen! Cassie had an amazing, natural, peaceful laboring process and had no complications. It was so amazing to hold Macey after Cass had her. She stopped crying when I held her, and looked into my face for a while. It was very overwhelming and once I dropped off Cassie's doula/friend Heather, I cried the rest of the way home. It made me happy for the K family, but scared for myself. I mean, not to give birth, but to have a baby. It's hard to explain, but I guess I keep thinking of the baby as a little bean, when really it's going to come out of me and interact with people within minutes. It's not a toy, it's not a pet, it's a real life human. It's a very humbling thing to see a baby so new. I am thankful I could be there for 80% of the process. I am very honored to be a part of the group invited along. <3

Well, I'm off to cuddle on the couch and mentally prepare myself for the shopping spree I'm about to embark upon. <3

Awh!

Very short, very quick update before I run some errands. Cass had the baby (A GIRL!!!) on the 6th. She is perfect, and lovely, and I want to take her home and never return her. I'll update on the inspiration it's brought me in a bit..just wanted to jot this down so I would remember exactly what I wanted to blog about. <3

Ah-may-ZING!

I wasn't going to blog until after finals, but something awesome happened last night and I have to share! So, I was fighting with Michael about something I can't even remember (hey! I'm hormonal and crazy! I can argue with my hubby and then forget why I was mad!). Anyways, I went into my room to relax and cool off because since I've gotten pregnant I like to throw things at people and act like a caveman. I plopped down and pulled out my trusty, beloved, beautiful iPod and set my playlist to randomly play any and all Rilo Kiley songs (if you don't know about Rilo Kiley, after all these years, shut down this blog imminently and run to your nearest Rasputin!). The Frug, an old classic, came on, so I set it on my belly (which was exposed cos I wanted to look how big it's gotten) and started calming down. Well, while I was calming down, someone else was getting riled up! I know it's too early, and I know people say it's impossible to distinguish from gas, but I swear to you, the baby fluttered! I felt a little flutter deep in my right, lower stomach, like the baby was walking up the wall like it did during my ultrasound. It was so crazy; I knew immediately what it was. I screamed for Michael to come, and he busted in that room so freaking fast. He was worried, I mean, I screamed, but once I told him, he got a huge smile on his face and we cuddled, discussing the craziness of our bean.

I know what I felt. It was a full on flutter, different than anything I've felt before. I'm not crazy, and I didn't get my hopes up...I know I won't feel it again for a few weeks. But, it was so awesome. I mean, my kid responded to Rilo Kiley. Clue number one that this kid is fucking awesome. Clue number two is that it does yoga. And clue number three is that it is half me, half Michael, so it has to be awesome.


Ok, well I have 4 hours to start and complete a three page essay and bibliograpgy on crap I haven't read on, so I better jet. SUNDAY is our 3D ultrasound, so you'll hear from me soon. Quick side note, I have a feeling we won't get a definitive on the sex just yet. I have a feeling we'll find out in January. <3

-Jess

Long Awaited Update

FAIL. I fail at keeping up a blog during school. Thankfully I have until Tuesday, and then this miserable quarter will be OVER! I don't know what it is about being in a time-crunch that gives me the desire to update this blog, but here we are. I'm writing 1 of the 4 essays I have due this week. This one, is due Monday right before I take a HARD final. Then I have two due Tuesday, and my last one due Wednesday. Lame.

So, exciting things have happened in the last two weeks, but I've been too much of a lazy bum to write about them. Let's just go back to Monday, Nov 21. So, we went in for our prenatal checkup with my awesome doctor. We were expecting her to weigh me, measure me, and maybe catch a bit of the baby's heartbeat. We sat down, and she went on and on about how happy she was that I didn't gain weight in my 1st trimester, and that I had actually lost some (without being sick, yay me!). Then she pulls in the machine that we think will let us hear Bean's heartbeat. We were so wrong; we got an ultrasound! The baby, obvious overjoyed that we were checking out its cute booty, started kicking and waving and dancing all over my womb. It was such a surprise that I just sat there in shock, tears rolling down my cheeks. I couldn't believe my bean wasn't a bean anymore, but a baby! Doctor told us that her machine sucked, and the next Monday we would see a much better picture of the baby during our genetic screening. Personally, that machine could have been an inch big and it wouldn't have made a difference; I was seeing my real BABY dancing about. It was so awesome. Below is the best pic of the bunch that she printed out. Notice how awesome and adorable my Bean is <3

Now, this is a picture we took with our phone of the print out, so it is pretty blurry; however, the baby's head is on the right. Michael's family couldn't find the baby in the pic, so hopefully you have better luck.

After that awesome visit, we had another one on the 28th. This one was with a tech who measured the baby and had to look @ bones and such, so the ultrasound actually squicked me out. My beautiful Bean looked like skeletor when she got all up in his/her business. But, once she just looked @ the baby from a regular setting we got quite the show! The baby sat in the lotus pose (yoga move..basically criss-cross apple sauce), then kicked, jumped, and stuck its cute little tongue out! Then it proceeded to put its fist in its mouth, and then use its little legs to walk up the wall of my uterus. Great, my kid is already climbing the walls! Haha. It wasn't like a rock climber, just like it walked its feet up and was in an L shape. Unfortunately we didn't find out the sex, but we have an appointment in a week and a day to have our 3D ultrasound. Those really creep me out, but I'm still thrilled regardless. Oh, and we haven't scanned the pic of Bean putting his/her tongue out yet, but I'll post it asap.

So, as for me, the cranky mama, I am feeling pretty good health-wise, but crappy emotionally. It's exciting that I'm finally starting to show (but you can only tell if you see me a lot). I've lost weight in my face, arms, and upper sides, but my pants don't fit and I have a little pooch. Lol. I like to stick it out and rub it when I walk in public so people don't think I'm just a fatso. So emotionally... I've been super stressed with school, and super down. Hopefully now that school is a few days from being over I'll be able to relax and cheer up. I just need a day with my hubby with no worry that I have an assignment due or that I'm behind on a reading. Gah! UC Davis, I think our good relationship is coming to an end....feel free to kiss my big white booty.

The Bean has been spilled! :)

I spilled the beans on Bean! Bean is now a publicly acknowledged baby :) We were going to wait until Friday (Michael's bday and 11/11/11), but I just got this tingly urge to blab. Ah well, at least Michael's bday will be 100% about him, instead of sharing the attention with the baby. Lol.

I am so antsy for tomorrow to be OVER. I have a paper due, a midterm, and tons of chores to do so my weekend will be stress-free and I can focus on Michael's bday and Cassie's second baby shower. Yay for a fun weekend!!!

I am dying to go out and buy our baby's nursery furniture. Michael said we need to save up a little bit more money to get everything we want/need right now, but I'm anxious to get stuff set up while I have the time. We really want to have a monetary safety net for when the baby gets here, but there is so much to buy, and do to the house, before money will start going straight to the savings. Eep. I'm sure everyone worries about money when they're expecting a baby.

Tra la la, mommy is tired and needs a week long nap.

Update

Oh Bean, Mama loves you so much, but the damage you're doing to my body is unacceptable. I mean, lowering my immune system during midterms? Not cool. Yep, I'm sick...I keep wondering if that darned flu shot would have prevented this (it's in the beginning stages, so I'm not sure if it's the flu or a cold).

So, I stepped on the scale and I've lost more weight; awesome right? No. I am getting big and my clothes are fitting differently. I was hoping my belly would just kinda stay as-is until it popped out. I don't really get how the scale is going down, when I am getting bigger, but at least it gives me a little more room to grow on the scale in my later months.

Last week, instead of writing the paper I'm currently taking a break from, I moved 50% of our office into our cat's bedroom. Yes, our cats have a bedroom. After moving our recliner, bookshelf, and movie/cd spinning thing into the room, I carried about 20 engineering textbooks into the room, reorganized the existing furniture, and set everything up (Michael got all mother hen on my ass, by the way. He says I need to take it easy - why?- and let him move the big stuff). I hate to brag, but it looks fucking awesome! The office is still kinda in the funky/half empty state I left it in, but I'll have more time to get it ready for Bean during the winter holiday away from school. I like sitting in this room, imaging where I'm going to stick everything, and how I'm going to decorate. The previous owners must not have used this room for much, because the carpet looks awesome and there are no little holes in the wall I have to patch. We're really lucky.

It's so crazy to think about classes ending in 3 weeks! I can't wait for this break; I really need it. Also, we get to see the baby on the 28th in a regular ultrasound, and then on the 11th of December for the creepy 3D ultrasound to determine the sex. How cool?! We will be able to call the baby something other than "it" or Bean in about a month! Have I mentioned baby name ideas on here? Well, shit! For a little girl, we love the name Michelle (or Misha for a nickname), and for a boy we are struggling between Sam and Michael. I have been in love with the name Sam for a long time, but we both adore the name Michael (shoot, my husband is Michael and so it his dad - family names, gotta love 'em). We'll probably decide once we know the sex for sure. In the mean time we're debating the whole Michael K Bergman III thing, or going with a different middle name, or going with Sam. Aye yi yi. Naming people, it's something you have to live with forever! Very stressful.

Uh oh! Hubby is coming and I promised I'd be working on that damn paper! Lol!

Halloweeeenie

This Halloween was very depressing; not because we weren't festive, or anything sad, but because we had 25 whole trick-or-treaters! We decorated our house to the max (the ONLY house in our court with the lights on) and the kids that did come were very impressed, but the doorbell probably rang 7 times. The majority of kids were probably 13 years old but beggers can't be choosers ;-)
Next year is going to be awesome because 1. we will take Bean to our friends/family's houses and check out their kids' costumes, and 2. we can mooch off of our lame neighbors for free candy. I didn't even get to see my nieces this year! Bummer.
I think I'll dress Bean up as Harry Potter or an Ewok next year..we'll see.

Things with Bean are same ole, same ole; still feeling awesome but really tired. I actually have been losing weight, which is COOL, but I'm getting bigger. I don't know how mother nature is working that one out, but I'm not complaining. Shoot, I like seeing lower numbers on my scale. I just hope Bean is getting everything s/he needs to progress wonderfully.

We have our appointment for Bean's 3D sex check ultrasound! It's December 11! It's crazy to think that we will know the sex of our baby (and Bean will have a NAME) in about 41 days! Cooool beans, yo. <3

9 weeks, and weeeeird rants.

I went to a prenatal class the other day at Kaiser, and learned more about Bean. It was informative, but it was a really long day. I had my first random bout of crying when the nurse, who was supposed to give me a flu shot (which I don't even want), just spaced out and didn't notice my check-in for 45 minutes. Watching women come and go was frustrating, but not that upsetting. For some reason though, when I decided I had waiting enough and I grabbed my paper from the check in box, I started to cry! Haha. I was so upset and I don't even know why. Weird pregnant chick, I tell ya.

I had a dream last night that a woman was giving birth in an alley, and she planned on dumping it in the dumpster. I had come across her and helped her out, and when she was done birthing the beautiful baby girl she said she was going to ditch it. I asked if I could keep the baby, and she said yes. I was still pregnant in my dream, so I had to prepare for two babies. It was very weird.

I can't believe today is the nine week marker. Bean is a FETUS! Finally not an embryo :) Bean measured small, so Kaiser actually put the week-changing day as Saturday. However, my last period and ovulation all coincide with Wednesday, so I am going to just keep my calenders on Wednesday, unless my due date changes.

I am SO stressed with school. I have a hard midterm Monday, and a ten-page paper due Tuesday, the same day I have to do a presentation in my education class. GREAT. Halloween weekend is going to be hermit-time. I wish my stuff was spread out, and I am freaking out that I might let something slide. Ugh. School this quarter sucks, but I'm taking more classes next quarter. Boo.

Random side note:
One thing I pride myself in is being true; I'm true to others, and most importantly, to myself. I am the same girl when I am mad, sad, happy, and horny. I don't turn into someone different depending on my company. I am who I am. I am true. Thankfully my husband is true too. He is always dependable, smart, generous, and loving.
I really hope the baby will be like this too. I think it's more of a nurture thing, than a nature thing, which makes me sad when I think of how many people there are who have good parents, but are fake as hell. I can look in the mirror each day, and never fear looking into my own eyes. What do I have to hide? I have pride in my daily life, in my heartfelt nature, and my hard work. I just wish I could read people better. Do some people act like they have hearts of gold, when they really will drop their smiles the moment you turn away and say something mean behind your back? It scares me to bring a baby into this world with so much negativity; even hidden negativity. When my friends got pregnant and married, I was so happy for them; I went to parties, commented on a million pictures, and spread the love. Only my two closest friends even commented on my wedding pictures. The most comments came from friends of friends, or family, or old friends that facebook reconnected me with. It's weird that I consider people as my close friends, when I don't know if they even truly like me. Maybe it's just hormones speaking, but sometimes I'm scared some of my friends like me out of convenience. Hope not!

Ok, that was a weird tangent. I need more sleep. That being said, I'm off to school!

BOOBS!

Ok, so when I said before that my boobs were sore, I didn't know what the hell I was talking about. They are sore now! They are becoming bigger, which Michael likes because they look full even when I'm buck naked, but they are tender, and the nipples are like two little landmines..don't touch them!

Michael, being his loving self, pinched one when I got into bed last night, and I screamed at the top of my lungs! I don't think he realized how sore they really are, because he was shocked at my reaction. Obviously I teared up, I mean hello, he just clamped down on my most tender body part (imagine me, biting down on his testicles...with metal teeth...and a lock jaw)! Of course he was sorry, so he went to rub it..big mistake. Rub it? Don't touch it! Haha. Poor guy, I'm sure he wanted some of my sexy lovin', but after that he just rubbed my back, as I whimpered, until i fell asleep. Ha.

Sleeping on my stomach pre-pregnancy was my go-to position, but now the twins (my tits, not Bean..thankfully Bean is a solo baby) make it impossible. I wish I could cut two boob-sized holes into the mattress. I can't sleep on my back, so I'm stuck on my side, which is not very comfy for me. Ah well, it could be worse right? My boobs could have been DD before I got preggo, so at least I don't have two large utters dangling off my chest. I really shouldn't complain.

Today I am wearing a shirt that I usually wear when I'm feeling bummy. It's flowy and forgiving, and used to have a modest chest rise. Now? I look like a freaking hooker! My boobs are popping out like Janet Jackson at the superbowl, and I keep getting irritated looks from chicks and creepy looks from guys. Great.

Side note: The word Boob looks like boobs! B is the bird's eye view, oo are the front view, and b is the side view. Lol.
pre-preg boobs: (.)(.)
current boobs:  ( o )( o )
post-baby boobs: (    O   )(   O   )

Ultrasound

On Friday Michael and I had our first ultrasound (pic below)! It was so crazy, seeing our little Bean just fluttering about in his/her warm home. Bean's heart was beating so fast, and even though I had a wand up my cooter, it was the best morning I've ever had. My doctor is awesome. She told me that she likes to be hands on with her patients, so I am going to see her a lot during my pregnancy. I was actually expecting to see a midwife more. Hmm.

Bean measures kinda small, so even though my due date stays at May 31st, I have a feeling I'll deliver in early June. She said that according to my period and whatnot I am May 31, but if the baby measured smaller or bigger by ten days or less then we keep the same due date.

We're decided to opt out of the invasive testing like amnio and whatnot because we know we'll keep this baby regardless. That being said, we are going to do the blood work/ultrasound tests because we just wanna see the baby as much as we can. Haha. Oh! That reminds me! Michael's mom knows someone who does the 3D ultrasounds and we can see her for free and she will tell us the sex of the baby at 14-16 weeks!! That's a month earlier than most ppl can determine the sex. It's in only 2 months! I am excited for this last month to hurry up, because I'll be 12 weeks this time in November, and I want to be able to openly talk about my Bean without being cryptic or vague. I wanna tell my grandparents! I also can't wait for 12 weeks because then I will have more energy!

Thoughts

I think my baby is a vampire. It is sucking me dry, and I am literally turning into a zombie. I have zombie skin (not as pink and bright as it used to be), zombie brain (forgetting, tons of "duuuuh" moments, and the ability to only focus on one thing), and zombie mouth (drooling!!!). Today I left the house for school, and thankfully only got an exit away on I-80 before I realized I was leaving for the wrong class. I had a whole extra hour to kill at home; time to actually eat breakfast, brush my scraggly hair, and organize! Grrr, it may sound nice to gain an hour, but I was grouchy that I had already left the house and had to go back.

This awesome, yet gloomy, weather might not be helping either. Normally when the sky turns grey and it becomes nice and chilly, I get into a great mood, cook awesome cozy meals, and cuddle with Michael and the cats...but now? I am exhausted beyond belief! I almost fell asleep in class today! This might not seem like a big deal to some, but I go to the University of California, and my professors are hired for their research and significant contribution to their chosen fields. Falling asleep during my professor's lecture would be beyond disrespectful in a normal class, but here it is like a slap in the face to my major, my school, and to my checkbook. Grr. Sorry to rant..but I am sleepy!

Ok, complaining aside, I keep thinking about my lovely little baby. I keep wondering what s/he will look like; the hair color, eyes, nose, etc. Between you and me (well, you being the whole world since this blog is public), I think the baby is a girl. I think she will have brown hair, brown eyes, and come out looking like a hairy little monkey baby. Lol. Michael is furry, and I have thick hair, so this baby doesn't stand a chance. Lol. I just have this inkling in my toes that Bean is a little girl. Michael thinks so too, but more because everyone else in my family is/has girls more than because he has a "feeling". If we were going to get down and dirty with statistics, Bean would more likely be a boy because that many girls is just cray cray.

I started this blog in place of having a mommy-diary, but I wonder if I'm doing this right. Nothing has really happened yet, so I feel like I can only write about my speculations, grievances, and daily life. My first appointment is next Friday, so maybe this blog will be juicier after then. In the mean time, here's a picture of Michael and me from our wedding..our poor little Bean doesn't have a chance. Lol <3

Weight Gain

Being a healthy weight is something that's always on my mind. I'm just one of those people that eats right, but still carries a heavy load. The frustrating thing about this while pregnant, is that my problems will negatively  influence my baby's development. My baby is at risk for being overweight too, if my weight gain gets to be too much. Then, there's the risk of gestational diabetes on my part, which could make my baby way underweight! I know I'm overweight, and I think I technically drift over to the obese category every once in a while. Not to sound like a dick, but I while I'm overweight, I never think of myself as obese. It's a scary word, but apparently one I need to hear.

Based on my BMI, I shouldn't gain too much weight with this pregnancy. Really, it would healthiest if I gained 15 pounds. Only gaining this much means I need to lose some fat while I gain some fetus, which might be hard. I mean, if losing weight is so easy, don't ya think I would have lost some a long time ago? Well, either way I've started focusing on my weight and what I eat (pretty much like I always have) and we'll see what happens.

I'm scared to be that woman who gains a bunch of weight w/ my pregnancy, and then never loses any. I want to be healthy to promote a healthy lifestyle for my little bean. If I can barely lead a healthy lifestyle now, how will I do it when I have extra baby weight and a little one in tow? It's time to make a change. Hopefully a public declaration will keep me accountable.

Breastfeeding!

Today I got a newletter in my inbox, from a natural mother website, about breastfeeding. This newsletter said that the American Academy of Pediatrics recommends breastfeeding for at least one year, and the World Health Organization says at least two. Then, it goes on to say this "in the United States, most mothers do not breastfeed their babies past 6 months, and only 5% are still breastfeeding at 18 months."

Today I want to talk about breastfeeding. My mom said that I was breastfed the longest out of my sister and me...3 (to 6?) months. My younger sister had horrible colic, and the only thing she could hold down was soy milk. God willing, I plan on breastfeeding my children until they are at least one. This is very important to me, as there are so many benefits to breastfeeding. The merits are way too long to list, here are some links to the awesomeness of the teat! Benefits and merits!

Michael and I have talked about breastfeeding until one, and it's something we both agree on, and think is beneficial. I am so lucky to have a partner that will stand up for me and the choices we make. I definitely need a strong support system, as many people find breastfeeding distasteful, embarrassing, gross, or something to be ashamed of. People often link breastfeeding to sex; which is creepy and disturbing. Yes, my breasts are sexy, but they have an original, natural purpose, and it is to sustain life! I think that trumps sex any day. Anyways, having Michael stand by my side will help when I hear things like "you still breastfeed!?" when my kid is 9 months, or "ew, that's gross" when breasts are MADE for this job. 

I guess getting that article sparked something in my mind. I have always known I would breastfeed, but hearing how little "popularity" it has in the US scares me. I don't want to feel like I  have to hide when I feed my child (I plan on wearing nursing covers, not just whipping out my nips in public) somewhere people are around. Shoot.

Many people say things about what it means to be a woman, like wearing sexy clothes, or gossip, or being sensitive..but honestly, the most womanly thing I can think of is having a baby (which only a woman can do) and breastfeeding it (again, only a woman can do). Our society has become to obsessed with sex and the ideas of to whom a vagina or breast belongs, that our most natural and instinctive acts become a gross misuse of part/product. I, for one, am proud to be a woman, and I will use my parts for their intended purpose without shame or embarrassment. 

This all being said, some mothers can't breastfeed, and some babies wont latch on or can't handle their mother's milk. Those woman are no less womanly or awesome..sometimes life just doesn't work out in the ways we want/expect. Those mothers still do awesome things to bond with their children and give them the BEST nutritional options available. They should never feel guilty either, nature is nature, and sometimes a baby cannot naturally handle/take the teat.

Here ends my random, liberal rant for the day. Sorry if I offended; but honestly, if I did offend, you need to reread this blog and get the point. It's natural!

Wooooo boobies!

Decisions decisions

Decisions decisions.
So I talked to my sociology adviser at school today and found out I am 100% on track for graduation! I will have to take 4 classes next quarter, and 2 for my final quarter. The only problem: my due date clashes with the end of school. I have about 1-2 weeks of time that I can't know for sure about. :-/ I can either try and complete school and work with my professors, or I can take my final quarter off and push it to the following fall. It would mean I would graduate December instead of June. I'm torn. Leave a 3 mo. old baby w/ daycare and go to school, or hold out? There is a pregnancy support group @ Davis every Wednesday, so I might pop in and check it out.

On a less confusing (and happier) note, my cloth diapers came in the mail! They will be so cute on my little bean's booty! I bought a cute Cal Berkeley onesie yesterday at Target, and I have my UC Davis one..this kid is going to look good from it's cute diapers to it's awesome shirts! I can't wait to use my bean as a baby-billboard. Ha. Maybe I could sell ad space. JOKING!

Early pregnancy is not very glamorous. This whole nipple soreness thing, followed by the exhaustion and poop-issues are very annoying. That being said, I am so grateful and excited to be pregnant. I can't wait to feel my body change and observe the growth of my baby. I don't want anything to bring me down emotionally, because I feel like the emotional and physical parts of a body are connected. I want to embrace and explore everything pregnancy and motherhood have to offer. <3