Last Day of Life w/o Baby

Yesterday I ended up making an appointment with another doctor so I could get some answers. It ended up being with the chief of medicine for women's health in the Solano-Napa area. She checked me out (still 2 cm dilated and same effacement), and said that despite my BP being a little bit lower than normal, we still have to induce on Thursday. She told me that I won't need that catheter-bulb to open my cervix because it's already opening on its own. She said we'll probably start with pitocin (ew!), but I might be able to just have them break my water bag to see if my labor starts naturally. I really hope Labor and Delivery will let me have a say. Michael and I are really bummed that they're pushing this so hard (and it gets frustrating when friends/family tell us how bad it is and that we should fight it, because we already know it), and it's confusing because they said I shouldn't go past 40 weeks, but a due date is a GUESS; it's an estimate. What's even more weird is that Michelle measured small in the beginning, so who knows if she is really due May 31. What if she is really due on the 4th? I think that every day she's in my womb is another day for her to develop to her full potential. Better lungs, better brain development...I dunno.

So today I'm going to do as much homework as I can, clean the house (bedding, sweeping, put away junk), and go grocery shopping. Tomorrow we're supposed to call L&D whenever we wake up (7 at the earliest) and head over whenever they say. It might be right away, and if they're busy it might be later in the day. Then we'll head over and la-de-da. I feel ridiculous, but I'm going to shower, straighten my hair, and put on makeup (waterproof, of course). Lol. Then we're bringing the iPad, DVDs, and speakers so we can stay entertained during the wait. I really hope my body kicks in and does its thang because more medical interventions are going to suck ass. 

Well, if I'm going to get anything done I better get off here and get to work. My next blog might be about my labor! Eep!

Keep your fingers crossed for us! We're hoping our little lady is healthy, the labor goes well, and we get out of there safe and sound <3

Update, woooo!

I'm HUGE! This pic is from 34 weeks, and I'm 36 weeks this week! :)

For the past month Michael and I have been going to baby classes. We went to a breastfeeding class, a hospital tour/ labor prep class, and a childbirth preparation class. The childbirth prep class went on for the whole month, and it was awesome. I wish we would have signed up for another class, but with how busy I am with school, it's probably best that we didn't. Although, I'm a little worried about concrete methods of focus. I really should read a hypobirthing book.

Also, this month I had my baby shower! It was so exciting to show people my bump, which I thought was huge, but got tons of comments about how small I am. I think I've gotten a lot bigger since then though. We got so much stuff at the shower. People are so freaking generous. Michelle is going to have the cutest clothes on the block! I couldn't believe how many diapers we got, and how we've pretty much gotten everything we need for the baby's arrival.

So, I'm a little grouchy with my doctor. She cancelled my appointment because she was sick (not why I'm irritated), but then didn't reschedule me for two weeks later. I haven't been to see her in over 6 weeks! I'm at the end of my pregnancy, so I'd really like to make sure everything is smoooooth sailing. Is my baby face down? Is my blood pressure ok (I'm awfully swollen these days)? Did I gain too much weight? Oh shit! I forgot to mention, I gained like a million pounds! It's making me worried. I was hoping to reach this current weight when I was about to give birth. Ugh. I guess pregnancy is an event that I can't control.

SCHOOL is stressing me the hell out. I have so much stuff to work on; it's almost laughable how much work I have this quarter. This is supposed to be my easy quarter. Ha. Life has a funny way of working out. I told my teachers that I am leaving school on the 21st and 22nd, so I only have three more weeks! Ah! Three weeks and I am FREE from Davis! It feels awesome.

Long time, No Blog

A lot has happened since my emo-ridden post in December. I hit the halfway point in my pregnancy, started working on the nursery, and had my first (informal) baby shower with my four close friends. The get together was very nice and it was so generous of my friends to buy us gifts already! I felt so loved and I know Michelle will feel the love too :)
Yesterday we had an ultrasound appointment at Kaiser to check Michelle's progress and learned that she is one pound one ounce..already!? Dang girl, I hope she stays on the smaller side. :) She is a very active baby in the evenings and late afternoon, but was barely moving for the ultrasound at 9 am. Definitely a Bergman baby! She likes her sleep :)
Tonight there is a prenatal yoga class being offered in Fairfield by my house, but I am scared to go. My doctor really recommended me to go to one, but I hate doing stuff like that alone. I haven't been in a yoga classroom in about 7 years, and my belly bump isn't as pretty and round as other girls. I really should go though! I've been having back pain and my muscles feel tight, so this would be awesome for me, but socially, I am a turd. Lol
I started school in the first week of January and it's already stressful, but way better than last quarter. I am taking two education classes and one sociology class (yay!), so I am immersed in stuff I actually enjoy learning about. The only bummer is that I couldn't get into a Soc class I NEEDED to graduate, so I have to take it next quarter and risk missing the last few weeks because I'll be giving birth or something. Ah well, I'm just gonna let the universe handle this one and see what happens. At least I'll only have one academic class next quarter along with the two art classes I am planning to take.

Below are some pictures from the ultrasound. The first is Misha's profile, the second is her little foot!

 

Next, here are some pictures of her room, with the new wall color, handmade blankets and pillows (by me!!), and cute wall plaque with her name. 

And lastly is a shot from way back at 19.6 weeks (I'm 22 now). I am chilling on the bed so my bump looks much rounder and cuter ;-)

Sorry for the delay in updating. I'll be back soon!

-Jess

Long Awaited Update

FAIL. I fail at keeping up a blog during school. Thankfully I have until Tuesday, and then this miserable quarter will be OVER! I don't know what it is about being in a time-crunch that gives me the desire to update this blog, but here we are. I'm writing 1 of the 4 essays I have due this week. This one, is due Monday right before I take a HARD final. Then I have two due Tuesday, and my last one due Wednesday. Lame.

So, exciting things have happened in the last two weeks, but I've been too much of a lazy bum to write about them. Let's just go back to Monday, Nov 21. So, we went in for our prenatal checkup with my awesome doctor. We were expecting her to weigh me, measure me, and maybe catch a bit of the baby's heartbeat. We sat down, and she went on and on about how happy she was that I didn't gain weight in my 1st trimester, and that I had actually lost some (without being sick, yay me!). Then she pulls in the machine that we think will let us hear Bean's heartbeat. We were so wrong; we got an ultrasound! The baby, obvious overjoyed that we were checking out its cute booty, started kicking and waving and dancing all over my womb. It was such a surprise that I just sat there in shock, tears rolling down my cheeks. I couldn't believe my bean wasn't a bean anymore, but a baby! Doctor told us that her machine sucked, and the next Monday we would see a much better picture of the baby during our genetic screening. Personally, that machine could have been an inch big and it wouldn't have made a difference; I was seeing my real BABY dancing about. It was so awesome. Below is the best pic of the bunch that she printed out. Notice how awesome and adorable my Bean is <3

Now, this is a picture we took with our phone of the print out, so it is pretty blurry; however, the baby's head is on the right. Michael's family couldn't find the baby in the pic, so hopefully you have better luck.

After that awesome visit, we had another one on the 28th. This one was with a tech who measured the baby and had to look @ bones and such, so the ultrasound actually squicked me out. My beautiful Bean looked like skeletor when she got all up in his/her business. But, once she just looked @ the baby from a regular setting we got quite the show! The baby sat in the lotus pose (yoga move..basically criss-cross apple sauce), then kicked, jumped, and stuck its cute little tongue out! Then it proceeded to put its fist in its mouth, and then use its little legs to walk up the wall of my uterus. Great, my kid is already climbing the walls! Haha. It wasn't like a rock climber, just like it walked its feet up and was in an L shape. Unfortunately we didn't find out the sex, but we have an appointment in a week and a day to have our 3D ultrasound. Those really creep me out, but I'm still thrilled regardless. Oh, and we haven't scanned the pic of Bean putting his/her tongue out yet, but I'll post it asap.

So, as for me, the cranky mama, I am feeling pretty good health-wise, but crappy emotionally. It's exciting that I'm finally starting to show (but you can only tell if you see me a lot). I've lost weight in my face, arms, and upper sides, but my pants don't fit and I have a little pooch. Lol. I like to stick it out and rub it when I walk in public so people don't think I'm just a fatso. So emotionally... I've been super stressed with school, and super down. Hopefully now that school is a few days from being over I'll be able to relax and cheer up. I just need a day with my hubby with no worry that I have an assignment due or that I'm behind on a reading. Gah! UC Davis, I think our good relationship is coming to an end....feel free to kiss my big white booty.

9 weeks, and weeeeird rants.

I went to a prenatal class the other day at Kaiser, and learned more about Bean. It was informative, but it was a really long day. I had my first random bout of crying when the nurse, who was supposed to give me a flu shot (which I don't even want), just spaced out and didn't notice my check-in for 45 minutes. Watching women come and go was frustrating, but not that upsetting. For some reason though, when I decided I had waiting enough and I grabbed my paper from the check in box, I started to cry! Haha. I was so upset and I don't even know why. Weird pregnant chick, I tell ya.

I had a dream last night that a woman was giving birth in an alley, and she planned on dumping it in the dumpster. I had come across her and helped her out, and when she was done birthing the beautiful baby girl she said she was going to ditch it. I asked if I could keep the baby, and she said yes. I was still pregnant in my dream, so I had to prepare for two babies. It was very weird.

I can't believe today is the nine week marker. Bean is a FETUS! Finally not an embryo :) Bean measured small, so Kaiser actually put the week-changing day as Saturday. However, my last period and ovulation all coincide with Wednesday, so I am going to just keep my calenders on Wednesday, unless my due date changes.

I am SO stressed with school. I have a hard midterm Monday, and a ten-page paper due Tuesday, the same day I have to do a presentation in my education class. GREAT. Halloween weekend is going to be hermit-time. I wish my stuff was spread out, and I am freaking out that I might let something slide. Ugh. School this quarter sucks, but I'm taking more classes next quarter. Boo.

Random side note:
One thing I pride myself in is being true; I'm true to others, and most importantly, to myself. I am the same girl when I am mad, sad, happy, and horny. I don't turn into someone different depending on my company. I am who I am. I am true. Thankfully my husband is true too. He is always dependable, smart, generous, and loving.
I really hope the baby will be like this too. I think it's more of a nurture thing, than a nature thing, which makes me sad when I think of how many people there are who have good parents, but are fake as hell. I can look in the mirror each day, and never fear looking into my own eyes. What do I have to hide? I have pride in my daily life, in my heartfelt nature, and my hard work. I just wish I could read people better. Do some people act like they have hearts of gold, when they really will drop their smiles the moment you turn away and say something mean behind your back? It scares me to bring a baby into this world with so much negativity; even hidden negativity. When my friends got pregnant and married, I was so happy for them; I went to parties, commented on a million pictures, and spread the love. Only my two closest friends even commented on my wedding pictures. The most comments came from friends of friends, or family, or old friends that facebook reconnected me with. It's weird that I consider people as my close friends, when I don't know if they even truly like me. Maybe it's just hormones speaking, but sometimes I'm scared some of my friends like me out of convenience. Hope not!

Ok, that was a weird tangent. I need more sleep. That being said, I'm off to school!

Decisions decisions

Decisions decisions.
So I talked to my sociology adviser at school today and found out I am 100% on track for graduation! I will have to take 4 classes next quarter, and 2 for my final quarter. The only problem: my due date clashes with the end of school. I have about 1-2 weeks of time that I can't know for sure about. :-/ I can either try and complete school and work with my professors, or I can take my final quarter off and push it to the following fall. It would mean I would graduate December instead of June. I'm torn. Leave a 3 mo. old baby w/ daycare and go to school, or hold out? There is a pregnancy support group @ Davis every Wednesday, so I might pop in and check it out.

On a less confusing (and happier) note, my cloth diapers came in the mail! They will be so cute on my little bean's booty! I bought a cute Cal Berkeley onesie yesterday at Target, and I have my UC Davis one..this kid is going to look good from it's cute diapers to it's awesome shirts! I can't wait to use my bean as a baby-billboard. Ha. Maybe I could sell ad space. JOKING!

Early pregnancy is not very glamorous. This whole nipple soreness thing, followed by the exhaustion and poop-issues are very annoying. That being said, I am so grateful and excited to be pregnant. I can't wait to feel my body change and observe the growth of my baby. I don't want anything to bring me down emotionally, because I feel like the emotional and physical parts of a body are connected. I want to embrace and explore everything pregnancy and motherhood have to offer. <3

Sleepy, weird rant

Right now I am writing from the baby's future nursery. It's so tiny; I hope everything we want to do in here will fit! The baby's room is currently our office/storage so I am in here printing pages for school. Today was my first day as a senior, and even though I was barely there, it was exhausting. I came home after running errands and crashed on the couch for two hours! I'm not the biggest nap-taker, so it felt weird and draining. My mom said it's normal to be sleepy in the beginning, but I am really pooped!

It was hard to walk around school today and not feel a huge disconnect between my peers and myself. I already feel like the black sheep because I'm 3-4 years older than everyone, but this little secret I'm carrying in my womb makes me feel lightyears away from them. I feel like I have a neon sign above my head that says "Baby on Board!" and all of these kids can read it, and see my womb jiggling about. I know they can't, but it makes me anxious to get out of that school. Maybe when I get bigger and walk around they will think I am a grad student or something. Lol. I wonder if anyone else on campus is pregnant..we should start a club. Ha.

It feels weird calling the baby "it". In my mind I flip back and forth with calling it boy/girl, I never call it "it" in my head, but when I talk about Baby, I can't just say he/she back and forth. I look bipolar and creepy. Maybe I'll just call our little bun in the oven "Awesome", and never use pronouns. Examples: "I felt Awesome kick! Maybe Awesome will be a soccer player. Awesome's new crib came in the mail!" and so on..

Man, I am sleepy! This blog just took a weird turn, and basically said nothing. Ha. Well, it's not my fault; it's Awesome's fault! Awesome is stealing my energy, but because we're family we gotta share. ;-)

Introductions are in order...

Well, I think a little background info is required. I'm Jessica, and I'm newly married to my best friend and partner of 7 years, Michael. We own a house in Fairfield, CA (smack dab between SF and Sacramento). Michael designs bridges and roads, and is a UC Berkeley grad. I'm a senior at UC Davis, studying Sociology. Below is a picture of us, being sexy and awesome on our honeymoon.

On said honeymoon we got some amazing news; I'm 4 weeks pregnant! Being a senior in college you probably think I am all worried and stressed about being pregnant; on the contrary! I'm 25 (took my sweet ass time in school, thank you very much), and my husband has a kick ass job that will help until I finish grad school w/o a job. So, now that you are all up in my business, how about some pictures to lurk into my life some more.

This is my husband Michael in Maui next to an awesome and old ass bridge on the road to Hana. Pretty cool huh? He's bearded, and smart, and funny, and probably the coolest guy ever. I am so lucky to have that yeti in my life.

Up there? That's me trying to look all nonchalant on the top of a crater in Maui. After this picture was taken, I jumped all around an squealed about the beautiful view. ;-)

Below is what I wrote on the plane about this past week and my pregnancy news. It's a copy and paste, and I was exhausted when I wrote it, so don't expect some gem..shooooot. <3
...........................................................


Baby Notes
9/23/2011

LMP: 08-25-11
Ovulatuion: ~09-07-11
1st test: 9/19 Technically positive. Super faint line; almost thought it was a line meant to be filled in for a  positive test
2nd test: 9/20 Positive. faint line, but definitely there.
3rd test: 9/21 Positive. Used different test and line was less faint.


Energy: LOW; not sure if it's from the wedding (planning, stress, etc), jet lag/traveling, or the adventures we've gone on
in Hawaii.

Notes:
Started trying, and conceived during my first ovulation. Basically Michael and I are super baby-making people, and he has super sperm that found my sexy egg too awesome to resist. I suspected something was up due to my low energy level, my crazy mood swings the week before (rage over lame stuff), and getting really dizzy/sick from flying, driving, and riding on the boat. The day we got our first real positive (2nd test) was the day we went snorkeling in the Molokini Crater. I was super excitd and when I told Michael (he was sleeping), he opened his eyes, smiled, and said "that's great" and then went back to sleep. Ha. That day I got very seasick (baby or genes, who knows) on the boat and while swimming in the ocean (LAME! There were cool turtles swimming two feet from me and I had to get out of the water or risk feeding the turtles a non-natural food source).
My appetite has been flaky and irritating. I am either VERY hungry or full to the brim after a few bites of my meal. Seems like I have to start eating more smalls meals throughout my day. Also, and I don't know if this is food-related, I get the worst stomach aches! It's like a dull cramping in my lower abdomen (i'm guessing it's that pesky uterus); It makes me feel like I have to use the restroom (#2 if you catch my drift). I'm normally not a daily-pooper, but it's becoming an everyday occurance. Maybe it's the island food I've been getting down on.
We told Diann about the pregnancy the day before we told my mom. She asked if I'd been having any alcohol and I sent her a picture of my positive test. When I told her she seemed very happy, and told Mike who said "oh yeah? Good job!". Hahaha.
I called my mother today and she immediately asked if I was. I couldn't lie, and even though I wanted to tell her in person, I spilled the beans. She sounded to excited! I asked to tell my dad over the phone on my own, and he seemed happy. I told him I got something cool in Hawaii and he asked what it was..I said "oh, just a positive pregnancy test!". He laughed and said congrats.
I am so excited to tell my sisters. I think I'm going to have to call or text Ash, as she's on an impromtu trip to Vegas with some guy; however, I am going to try and see Nikki tomorrow and tell her. I hope they are excited for us! My friends, on the other hand, I am debating when to tell them. I am enjoying the privacy. Now I know why Cass keeps her's secret for so long; it's fun to have that crazy news in your pocket, ready to launch it at the drop of a hat! >:)
Right now we are on the plane back home. Our little island fetus will now be a stowaway in CA to my classes at UC Davis. My little aggie <3 Michael says the baby will have UC Berkeley stuff, but as it will attend Davis for 9 months, I say it's an Aggie! Ha!

This is the 3rd test I took to confirm my first one!

The Mama-To-Be, 4 weeks pregnant!