Right now I am writing from the baby's future nursery. It's so tiny; I hope everything we want to do in here will fit! The baby's room is currently our office/storage so I am in here printing pages for school. Today was my first day as a senior, and even though I was barely there, it was exhausting. I came home after running errands and crashed on the couch for two hours! I'm not the biggest nap-taker, so it felt weird and draining. My mom said it's normal to be sleepy in the beginning, but I am really pooped!
It was hard to walk around school today and not feel a huge disconnect between my peers and myself. I already feel like the black sheep because I'm 3-4 years older than everyone, but this little secret I'm carrying in my womb makes me feel lightyears away from them. I feel like I have a neon sign above my head that says "Baby on Board!" and all of these kids can read it, and see my womb jiggling about. I know they can't, but it makes me anxious to get out of that school. Maybe when I get bigger and walk around they will think I am a grad student or something. Lol. I wonder if anyone else on campus is pregnant..we should start a club. Ha.
It feels weird calling the baby "it". In my mind I flip back and forth with calling it boy/girl, I never call it "it" in my head, but when I talk about Baby, I can't just say he/she back and forth. I look bipolar and creepy. Maybe I'll just call our little bun in the oven "Awesome", and never use pronouns. Examples: "I felt Awesome kick! Maybe Awesome will be a soccer player. Awesome's new crib came in the mail!" and so on..
Man, I am sleepy! This blog just took a weird turn, and basically said nothing. Ha. Well, it's not my fault; it's Awesome's fault! Awesome is stealing my energy, but because we're family we gotta share. ;-)
Because we're family we've got to share. I love you!
ReplyDeleteWomb-mates <3
Pregnant women go to college too. For all you know there already is a club, maybe you should seek it out. It might help you feel like less of an oddball.
ReplyDeleteAlso, you should call Awesome "Stormagedden" (not sure if you've caught up on Doctor Who yet but its an awesome name for a baby). My uncle called his first daughter "Hemmy" before they knew the sex. I think I had one of those weird names too but I don't recall what it was. You'll find something that feels right and if its Awesome then more power to it.
Tracy's right. A lot of pregnant mamas go to school. I am sure you're not alone.
ReplyDeleteAwesome is a rockin' temp name. I dig it. :)