I don't know about you, but I don't think it's safe for a pregnant chick to run around the house, screaming at a cat, and getting herself all worked up into a sweaty, breathless mess. However, for me, this is a weekly routine.
My cats are jerks. Plain and simple. I have to keep the nursery closed up at all times because my cats are obsessed with that room. Baxter likes to sleep in Michelle's crib. Zooey likes to steal her toy/clothes/small objects and chew them up and hide them throughout the house.
Call me crazy, but I think it's ridiculous to tiptoe around animals. Every website I've researched either employs two philosophies. The first is from cat-advice websites. They suggest I buy a throne and crown, and bow down to my evil cat; regardless of his actions. But honestly, they suggest I jump through hoops to keep doors closed (I don't want to! The paint smell still hasn't gone away and we painted months ago! It needs air!), put foil on everything, buy my cats new expensive toys (why? They like to steal my cheap stuff anyways..), and make sure my baby knows that the cats are boss. Um no. I'm boss. I'm the queen ruler of this house, and no one dictates my life. So that option is scratched.
Option two is the advice I get from baby-advice websites. Half the people say similar things, like getting nets to put over cribs, or foil in bassinets. But, then half of the people say toss the cat out on his ass or re-home. Yeah, that's not an option either. I don't know about other pet owners, but I love my animals (despite their desire to be evil dicks) and I took on a commitment to care for them. Putting them outside isn't an option either, as we live across from a big field. Our neighbors warned us against letting small pets outside for too long, as coyotes are a problem? Um, scary! To re-home Baxter would kill him. I'm not exaggerating; Baxter would have to be put to sleep if we brought him to a shelter. He can't even go to the vet without the vet and vet-techs all crying and begging for us to come rescue them. He ONLY likes Michael and me. So, I'd literally be killing him if I re-homed him. Zooey could be re-homed, but my cats are so attached to each other and I couldn't stand the depression it would cause. It's annoying, really.
So, what are my options? Put up with their bulls**t, scream at them on a weekly basis like a banshee, and get my heart rate up by chasing them around with a knife? Or rip my heart out of my chest and become a meat-eating animal hater who would put two cats out in the cold? Hey, I'm pregnant, I'm allowed to be dramatic.
HELP!
I need sound, solid advice. Should I set up booby traps? Should I put tacks in a sheet and lay it in the crib? Should I set up a motion-detecting robot that will shoot lasers at them when they come in contact with baby stuff? :(
Wednesday, March 21, 2012
Wednesday, March 14, 2012
Belly pics and cooter rants
Ah, pregnancy. I love you so. However, my vagina is extra angry at you today.
What a weird way to start off a blog, eh? Well, we'll get to my angry popo in a bit. First, I'd like to share updated pictures of my baby bump! The first pic is a side view, and the second is looking straight at me. I was already curvy/plus sized before I got pregnant, so my shape from the front isn't any different than it was pre-pregnancy.
28.4 days pregnant
Front view. Woooo.
You wouldn't think I was having trouble getting around or staying comfortable due to my smaller bump, but I am! I don't know what is happening to my ribs, but they've decided to start stretching out, and without a muscle surrounding them, it hurts to rub them. It is the weirdest thing to complain about sore ribs, but there's pregnancy for ya :) Always an adventure.
So, onto my angry cooter. See, my awesome bump may be small for someone my size, but that doesn't mean my kid is small, nor does it mean my stomach is soft and flabby. That thing is hard as a rock! It makes it super hard to bend over and tie my shoes, cuff my pants, and shave my darned lady bits!
Today I thought I'd be courteous to my beastly husband, and clean up the goods. I had a nice hot shower, and thought, "hmm, my legs and armpits sure could use a shave; poor Michael is married to a yeti!" so I went to town. At the last minute I thought, "ah, better attack the undercarriage too!". Mistake. Big mistake.
See, I can't see my hoohah without a mirror, and bending over really far hurts like a mother, so I blindly started attacking the growing sprouts of hair. I think you can guess where this is going. I cut myself!
To many of you, it's not that big of a deal, but to me it was a huge one. My poor vahjayjay is already going to get turned into an unrecognizable piece of meat in a few months, does it really need this horrid abuse now? I finally get 9.5 months of freshness, freedom from Aunt Flo, and doctors staying out of there, and then I abuse my lady friend with a dull razor and slippery conditioner. Next time, Michael is on shaving duty.
So, now that I've fully disgusted you, my dear reader, have a wonderful day...and treat your vagina right!
p.s. No shame here, I have no sense of modesty. Feel free to blast me. Mock away! ;-)
What a weird way to start off a blog, eh? Well, we'll get to my angry popo in a bit. First, I'd like to share updated pictures of my baby bump! The first pic is a side view, and the second is looking straight at me. I was already curvy/plus sized before I got pregnant, so my shape from the front isn't any different than it was pre-pregnancy.
28.4 days pregnant
Front view. Woooo.So, onto my angry cooter. See, my awesome bump may be small for someone my size, but that doesn't mean my kid is small, nor does it mean my stomach is soft and flabby. That thing is hard as a rock! It makes it super hard to bend over and tie my shoes, cuff my pants, and shave my darned lady bits!
Today I thought I'd be courteous to my beastly husband, and clean up the goods. I had a nice hot shower, and thought, "hmm, my legs and armpits sure could use a shave; poor Michael is married to a yeti!" so I went to town. At the last minute I thought, "ah, better attack the undercarriage too!". Mistake. Big mistake.
See, I can't see my hoohah without a mirror, and bending over really far hurts like a mother, so I blindly started attacking the growing sprouts of hair. I think you can guess where this is going. I cut myself!
To many of you, it's not that big of a deal, but to me it was a huge one. My poor vahjayjay is already going to get turned into an unrecognizable piece of meat in a few months, does it really need this horrid abuse now? I finally get 9.5 months of freshness, freedom from Aunt Flo, and doctors staying out of there, and then I abuse my lady friend with a dull razor and slippery conditioner. Next time, Michael is on shaving duty.
So, now that I've fully disgusted you, my dear reader, have a wonderful day...and treat your vagina right!
p.s. No shame here, I have no sense of modesty. Feel free to blast me. Mock away! ;-)
Thursday, March 8, 2012
Yeti Baby
Guess what I should be doing? If you've guessed "write a paper" then you must be an avid reader of this blog. Since I have a 5 hour deadline, I thought I'd create more of a crunch and write a bloggity blog.
On Tuesday, Michael and I went to our follow up ultrasound to get a clear shot of the little lady's heart. The last tech couldn't get a clear shot, but we were fine with it since it meant we got another glimpse of our girl. She's healthy and lovely, and apparently she's hairy! Below is a picture of her ultrasound, and if you look at the back of her head you might notice her hair. I bet it'll be thick and black!
The ultrasound tech also told us that she weighs 3 lbs (plus or minus 7 oz.). Wow! I hope she doesn't get too heavy; I want to get out of my labor with a semi-normal cooter.
Ok, on that gross note, I'm off to sweep my stairs, or whatever else people do to procrastinate.
<3
On Tuesday, Michael and I went to our follow up ultrasound to get a clear shot of the little lady's heart. The last tech couldn't get a clear shot, but we were fine with it since it meant we got another glimpse of our girl. She's healthy and lovely, and apparently she's hairy! Below is a picture of her ultrasound, and if you look at the back of her head you might notice her hair. I bet it'll be thick and black!
The ultrasound tech also told us that she weighs 3 lbs (plus or minus 7 oz.). Wow! I hope she doesn't get too heavy; I want to get out of my labor with a semi-normal cooter.
Ok, on that gross note, I'm off to sweep my stairs, or whatever else people do to procrastinate.
<3
Saturday, March 3, 2012
27 weeks and a quick update
No news on the weight gain front...I think I've gained one pound, so not much to brag about.
(At the end of this post is a picture from Thursday of my bump - 27 weeks!)
How can I tell if this new desire to have my house clean all the time is nesting, or me actually starting to care about having a messy house? Either way, it's nice to be able to have people drop by without the humiliation of a bra hanging from the chandelier and a sex toy peeking out from beneath the couch cushions. Haha. Obviously I'm exaggerating. Why on earth would we have our sex toys downstairs?! Lol
I feel like I'm getting bigger, but after looking at pictures from last week, it's apparent that I'm the same ole' me. Either way, the baby feels heavier. My back is starting to ache a bit, which has resulted in me waddling when I get sleepy or sore. Haha, Michael thinks it's hilarious to watch me waddle and do my "pregnancy stand up" when I get up from the couch. Lol.
Today is Izzy's fifth birthday party, and I am so excited to go and see everyone. Is it weird that I have baby fever? I mean, I carry a baby with me all day, but I am so excited to see and hold a new tiny baby. I think my bestie and my baby's bestie (Cass and Mackenzie, and Mark and Max) are staying home today cos her little guy is sick. I feel so sad for them! I don't know what I am going to do when Misha gets sick for the first time. I imagine it's both scary and sad. Scary cos I'm a stress case, and sad cos I know how much it sucks to be sick as an adult (when you have control over everything), so I can't imagine how much it sucks when you are a small kid. :( Feel better soon Max!
Here's a pic of my belly. Do I look bigger (in the stomach. Ignore my fat arms..or else!! lol) to you? I feel bigger. Just for fun, I'll also throw in a picture of my front. I think I look a little bit wider (also, please disregard my headlights showing. Also disregard the fact that they are facing different directions. I didn't have time to primp my nips). Who knows.
(At the end of this post is a picture from Thursday of my bump - 27 weeks!)
How can I tell if this new desire to have my house clean all the time is nesting, or me actually starting to care about having a messy house? Either way, it's nice to be able to have people drop by without the humiliation of a bra hanging from the chandelier and a sex toy peeking out from beneath the couch cushions. Haha. Obviously I'm exaggerating. Why on earth would we have our sex toys downstairs?! Lol
I feel like I'm getting bigger, but after looking at pictures from last week, it's apparent that I'm the same ole' me. Either way, the baby feels heavier. My back is starting to ache a bit, which has resulted in me waddling when I get sleepy or sore. Haha, Michael thinks it's hilarious to watch me waddle and do my "pregnancy stand up" when I get up from the couch. Lol.
Today is Izzy's fifth birthday party, and I am so excited to go and see everyone. Is it weird that I have baby fever? I mean, I carry a baby with me all day, but I am so excited to see and hold a new tiny baby. I think my bestie and my baby's bestie (Cass and Mackenzie, and Mark and Max) are staying home today cos her little guy is sick. I feel so sad for them! I don't know what I am going to do when Misha gets sick for the first time. I imagine it's both scary and sad. Scary cos I'm a stress case, and sad cos I know how much it sucks to be sick as an adult (when you have control over everything), so I can't imagine how much it sucks when you are a small kid. :( Feel better soon Max!
Here's a pic of my belly. Do I look bigger (in the stomach. Ignore my fat arms..or else!! lol) to you? I feel bigger. Just for fun, I'll also throw in a picture of my front. I think I look a little bit wider (also, please disregard my headlights showing. Also disregard the fact that they are facing different directions. I didn't have time to primp my nips). Who knows.
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